I was planning on posting several times, but because of some recent events I just wasn’t physically or emotionally prepared to do so.
Just a week ago we lost our unborn baby, Francis. I had recently entered my 2nd trimester, but he just didn’t make it, and I don’t know why. It was on Henry’s 3rd birthday when I went to the hospital. The next day we were forced to say goodbye to Francis.
This isn’t the way I wanted to share this news. I was looking forward to posting about our new addition soon. The girls were so excited to have a baby; they’ve known for months. They kissed my belly every day and talked and talked about him hoping he was a boy. We didn’t know he was a boy until the doctor gave him to me. Many of you know that we have already lost a child, Cecelia, when she was just 2 years old. I never expected to feel this kind of loss again, even if he was so small, even if I hadn’t hear him cry or held him, losing him is heartbreaking. Looking at the ultrasound monitor and seeing his motionless body took my breath away. Laboring, knowing your baby is already gone…I have no words.
My sisters Sarah and Elizabeth and Elizabeth’s kids, Aidan and Ingrid had just arrived several days prior to this. Grant and I were so grateful to have them there to stay with the kids, especially having no family here. They were able to provide a special day for the kids at Mitad Del Mundo and then a surprise party for Henry when he got home from being at the hospital with us.
The girls didn’t know what had happened until we returned home, so having the comfort and joy of family there was exactly what they needed.
Grant and I spent the night in Hospital Metropolitano here in Quito. Our doctor, Dr. Jijon, unfortunately couldn’t be there the first day/night, but he called all night long checking in on me. I hadn’t even met him yet, he would have been my OB doctor had things gone as planned. He came in the next day and brought a level of consolation not many doctors can bring. He shared his own wife’s struggles with the loss of their baby in the United States. He was so compassionate and close to tears talking about their loss and comforting us during ours. I’ve never experienced a doctor like this and I can’t express how grateful we were/are for his sincerity.
We are doing well, just coping with this. I know there are so many many women out there that have dealt with this. I didn’t understand the pain, but I understand now. Losing someone you already loved but are unable to ever know is a different kind of pain.
Despite our loss, we were able to enjoy our time with family and get away from it all and see some more beautiful sights in Ecuador. I will share about them later this week.
I want to express my appreciation to all those that reached out and helped us during everything, thank you.